Couples and Compatibility

By Chantay, Stanley, MSW, LCSWA

Do you find yourself wondering if you and your partner are compatible? Let’s talk about what couples should know about compatibility!

Compatibility includes being able to agree, respectfully disagree, adapt, and communicate in a relationship. Although couples do not have to agree on every aspect of life, they must have the same values and disagree respectfully. Conflict is unavoidable in a relationship. However, couples must be able to adapt to their partner’s lifestyle, morals, and perspectives.

A few questions to determine compatibility:

Disclaimer: this list is not all inclusive.

1. What are your goals and priorities in the relationship?

2. What do you expect from your partner in a relationship?

3. What are your beliefs and values?

4. What does trusting your partner look like?

5. What does being fully present in a relationship look like?

6. What financial responsibilities are important in a relationship?

7. What does the family dynamic look like in a relationship?

8. What does gender roles in your relationship look like, if any?

9. What does resolving conflict look like in a relationship?

10. What are the non-negotiables in a relationship?

Each individual must be able to articulate what is important to them in a relationship. Digging deeper into the compatibility questions individuals can ask for their partner’s reaction if they do not agree on the response to a question and further questions to understand why their partner agrees or disagrees. Understanding and communicating are two important aspects in a relationship.

If you are afraid that you and your partner are not compatible there are several free compatibility tests. If you find that there are aspects that you cannot agree on or need to discuss, further take the next step, and contact our office.