Trauma: Signs of Unhealed Attachment Trauma
By Shi’Asia Maynor, MSW Intern
Attachment trauma is a form of mood or behavioral disorder. When an individual's needs for closeness, comfort, and security are not met during childhood, attachment injuries or traumas occur. Attachment barriers develop, resulting in negative emotions and a never-ending cycle of distressing interactions. It can have an impact on an individual's ability to form and maintain relationships.
Individuals who go through trauma in their lives, whether as children or adults, may discover that dissociating makes the trauma easier to handle. Your mind employs coping mechanisms to help you filter out the upsetting memories when you don't want to recall or experience the terrible incident. The term for this is disassociation. In essence, the experiences that are too frightful to know or remember are blocked from your awareness by the mind.
Adults with attachment trauma run the risk of developing potential challenges (Bryan, 2022). As adults with attachment trauma tend to internalize feelings, depression and anxiety are frequently experienced.
Do you think that you or someone you know may be suffering from unhealed attachment trauma? Here are some of the signs:
Challenges with Interpersonal Relationships. As you age, maintaining positive and helpful relationships might be challenging if you have a bad or unsupportive relationship with your caretaker. You may come across as clingy because you're overly attached to your partner or friends, or you may adopt a different stance and keep your distance from others, which might make you appear distant or detached to others.
People Pleasing. People-pleasing tendencies are frequently observed in individuals who were forced to actively compete for attention as children, particularly from their parents or other primary caregivers. They grow up feeling they must always be doing that because they learn that making the people in their lives happy would provide them the adoration they desire.
Unstable or Poor Self-Perception. Your feelings regarding yourself can be impacted by attachment trauma. You can experience issues with poor self-esteem, a weak sense of self, or an overwhelming propensity for independence (Bryan, 2022). Although being independent may seem like a good quality, being too independent can be detrimental and may result in exhaustion.
Perfectionism. Another sign that might result from not receiving enough attention as a child is perfectionism. Similar to children who exhibit people-pleasing tendencies, they discover that the best way to win their caretakers' love is to excel at what they do and receive recognition. They are continually concerned that if something is even slightly sub-par, they will endure the consequences, and this anxiety permeates all facets of their lives (Bryan, 2022).
Evolving Relationships. Avoiding difficult emotions leads to cutting people out and frequently bringing in new acquaintances. Individuals who shift relationships frequently struggle to remain in one place for an extended period of time. If they are left alone with their emotions, they fear that they will have to deal with anguish and uncertainty (Bryan, 2022). Consequently, they use other people to fill emotional voids, brainwashing themselves into believing it is all good because someone always desires them.
When it comes to treatment for attachment trauma, psychotherapy is frequently used. If you are an adult with attachment trauma, there is therapy available to you!
Bryan, R. (2022, January 8). How attachment trauma works: Types and symptoms in adults. Vista Pines Health. Retrieved March 7, 2023, from https://vistapineshealth.com/attachment-trauma/