Relationship Status: Situationship?

Written By: Georleena Douglas, LCMHC-A

As the dating world evolves,  the standards of what is considered dating is  rapidly expanding and changing.  There was once an emphasis on courting someone and then moving into an official relationship. Now, a lot of people  find themselves in situationships.  According to  psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert ,  “a situationship is a romantic relationship that is and remains undefined”. Essentially you are not in an official relationship, but are a bit more than just  friends with benefits. 

Situationships  are beginning to become a new normal for the dating world. The lack of titles gives one the freedom to potentially  pursue other people, while they are also building a bond with  one specific person. Those who participate in situationships are technically single, but there may be some expectations for the other party to be loyal and focused solely on them. The lines can get blurred of what is appropriate when participating in a situationship, when strong emotional attachments begin to be built. 

How do you navigate through a Situationship? 

Communication. You and  your partner, official or not, would  need to be on the same page about what you expect from this experience.  Having open communication can strengthen your relationship. Communicatio may also help to avoid any confusion of expectations, wants and needs throughout the course of the situationship. 

Honesty. Practicing honesty in a situationship can help stop things from becoming overwhelming in dealing with another person. Being honest about your feelings or lack thereof, can prevent one from getting attached or setting up expectations about the future. 

Standing Firm in Boundaries. If lack of titles makes you feel more comfortable in your ability to be romantically connected to others, be firm in those boundaries. And if you are someone who wants a serious relationship, a situationship may not be ideal. Placing boundaries on what the relationship should look and feel like can stop you from getting  attached to someone, who may not see the future you do. 

Situationships are meant to be fun, but oftentimes lead to cyclic relationship behavior, with someone who is not in an official relationship with you. Checking in with yourself and your partner will create alignment in how the relationship evolves. 

Page, D. (2019, October 3). Are you in a 'situationship'? what it is and how to get out of it. NBCNews.com. Retrieved January 12, 2023, from https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/are-you-situationship-what-it-how-get-out-it-ncna1057141