How To Respond When Someone Shares Their Trauma With You
Active Listening
Give the individual your full attention. Defer judgment and do not make your own conclusions. Show that you are listening by making eye contact and facing the individual.
Show Empathy
First, acknowledge that the individual experienced the trauma and shared their experience with you as it is a difficult moment. Secondly, imagine what that individual felt in the moment and put yourself in their position to the extent possible and be compassionate.
Be Supportive
Allow the individual to take as much time as needed. Thank them for sharing such a traumatic and difficult experience. Do not make it about yourself in that moment and allow the individual to tell you what they need in that moment.
Understand that there is nothing that you can do or say that can relieve the individual of his or her feelings or remove the traumatic incident from their memory. You can support the individual by being there for him or her in this time and asking what you can do to support him or her. For example, if the individual hints that he or she needs to get out of the house as he or she is experiencing social withdrawal then you may setup a meeting.
Affirm the individual’s feelings by telling him or her that an individual is entitled to feel and react to trauma and his or her feelings and actions are normal. Keep in mind that everyone responds to trauma differently. If the individual needs more than you can provide refer him or her to a qualified therapist.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
Written by Chantay Stanley, LCSWA