Holiday Blues: Why the Holidays Can Be Stressful and What to Do About It

By: Aly Attaway, LCSWA

The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, celebration, tradition, and togetherness. However, it can also bring about feelings of stress, sadness, and anxiety. Thereby not always the cheerful escape holidays are marketed to be. So if you find the season more stressful than joyful, you’re not alone. This is what we refer to as the “holiday blues."

So why do the holidays cause stress? First is often an overwhelming sense of expectation. Whether it’s creating the perfect dinner, decorating to the max, buying ideal gifts, not having enough time in your schedule, feeling pressured to participate and have fun, or wanting to make holidays magical for your kids, the need to meet these often unattainable standards can cause significant anxiety. Social media doesn’t help either, with everyone posting about their seemingly perfect celebrations. The second is financial pressure. Gift-buying, travel costs, and other holiday-related expenses can put a strain on your budget, leading to feelings of financial anxiety. Many people feel compelled to spend more than they can afford or negatively compare themselves to others, which adds to stress and can create a sense of guilt or shame.

A third reason holidays cause stress is family dynamics. While family time is a central part of the holiday season, for some, these interactions can trigger complicated emotions from tension due to unresolved issues, dealing with difficult relatives, or feeling disconnected. Therefore, family time isn’t always the peaceful, harmonious experience often portrayed. Fourth is distance. The emphasis on togetherness for holidays isn't always feasible, whether you're far from home, have estranged relationships, or miss those who have departed. This can intensify feelings of isolation or loneliness. Fifth is physical and mental fatigue. The demands of shopping, cooking, traveling, and attending social events can leave you feeling physically exhausted and mentally drained. This fatigue can also lead to irritability and a diminished sense of enjoyment, making it harder to relax and enjoy the season.

Here are eight strategies for coping with holiday stress:

One, set realistic expectations. Try to let go of the need for perfection. That gift you can't find or won't arrive in the mail in time, the specific meal, the date because there's that family member you're moving schedules around for, etc... Things may not go exactly as planned and that’s perfectly fine. Focus on creating meaningful moments rather than chasing set ideals. Remember, the holidays are about connection, not perfection.

Two, practice self-care. It’s easy to neglect your well-being when caught up in the whirlwind of holiday preparations. Be sure to take time for yourself each day. Whether it’s a quiet moment with a book, a walk outdoors, or practicing mindfulness, self-care can help you recharge and stay grounded amidst the chaos.

Third set boundaries. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation or demand. If certain events, family gatherings, or obligations are stressing you out, it’s ok to decline or leave early. Setting boundaries helps preserve your energy and ensures that you’re not overburdened.

Fourth, be mindful of finances. The pressure to spend can be overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that the holidays aren’t about buying the most expensive gifts, the most gifts, or capitalizing on all of the sales. Set a budget for yourself and stick to it. Thoughtful, homemade gifts or even experiences can be just as meaningful as extravagant presents.

Five stay connected. If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, find ways to connect with others, even if it’s virtually. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends or family for support, whether through a quick chat or a long conversation. Many communities host events and there are often volunteer opportunities that allow you to give back while meeting new people.

Six find meaning beyond the commercialization. The commercial side of holidays can sometimes overshadow the deeper meanings, such as gratitude, love, generosity, and tradition. Shift your focus away from materialism and toward meaningful traditions.

Seven be compassionate with yourself. The holidays can stir up a mix of emotions, and it’s important to be kind to your mind. Acknowledge your feelings, whether they’re of joy or sadness, and remember that it’s ok not to feel festive all the time. Take each day as it comes and allow yourself to experience the season in your own way.

Eight seek professional support. If holiday stress is triggering deeper feelings of anxiety, depression, grief, or trauma it might be helpful to talk to a therapist. Sometimes, just having a space to vent and process your emotions can make a huge difference.

In conclusion, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to remember that it’s ok to not feel ok during the holidays. By recognizing the factors that contribute to holiday blues and taking steps to manage them, you can reclaim your sense of peace and joy. Embrace the season in a way that works for you so the holidays can become a more meaningful and less overwhelming time of year.